Taking off- oh the joys of travel
Hello Friends,
Day 1 - Sunday, September 20th
The 24 hours have officially begun. As I am sitting in my home airport, I know that I am about to start such an incredible journey.
I was talking to my brother in the car about how I am feeling about the journey, and it made me really nostalgic. I used to travel with a partner, and now this will be my second solo trip in a calendar year. Honestly, it is so nice to kind of follow my own footsteps and go where my feet are leading me.
I have been getting some good signs from the universe already about my trip. I also have had people telling me not to fall in love with an Australian, and some telling me to! People are telling me that I am going to love it so much that I will want to move there, or that they would not be surprised if I did not come back. It is a lot of pressure to ask any of those things of myself. I am not in control of that, as a shop owner near my apartment said today.
When one door closes, another opens. This is the time for change and to trust the path that you are being called to.
I asked my tarot deck for some advice about my trip and I received some good guidance, as always. The Hanged Man is here to remind us to let go of control, surrender, and gain a new perspective by pausing. He is also associated with the number 12, connected to the Empress (3).
I do have a hard time letting go of control and need to remind myself that not everything needs to be in a rush; I can enjoy the pause. I will be traveling for 24 hours, and it will feel like 2 days! Ha
This is a perspective that I have been trying to dive into for some time now. I have been known to want to control, or be in control of most situations that I present myself in, but I am very type B where I do not want to plan things and want to enjoy the experience. My control stemmed from my mental health diagnoses, and as those symptoms continue to fade, I get a better understanding of how nice it is to not be in control.
As I look at the hanged man, sitting waiting for my flight, I am feeling content. I know I can watch One Piece, read a book, do some writing, drawing, whatever my heart is telling me to do.
I am so lucky to be able to be on this journey.
Day 2 - Monday, September 21st
Leaving again for the first time, my flight was delayed, and I needed to transfer my itinerary. I surrendered to the journey, and so today is back to the first day of travel. I am headed off to my journey in a couple of moments here.
I am reading a sappy ass romance book because what else would I read and it really has got me thinking about my life thus far. The main character is finding out that her parents super romantic love story is not true and she finds herself caught between these two men, one that she has been wanting to meet (due to the circumstances that the plot lays out) and one that she met by accident. If you know me, then you know I love an alignment of timing and being with the divine timing. This book is making me face the parts of myself that I think needed some direction and realism to them. I am going to bring some astrology into this. After doing some research for my friend, Mack & I's charts, I discovered this is what the starts have written...
Saturn in Taurus in the 7th house signifies a serious, stable approach to relationships and marriage, emphasizing long-term stability and caution. The 7th house governs partnerships, Taurus adds loyalty, and Saturn imparts lessons of patience and duty.
Core Relationship Themes:
Delayed Commitments: Marriage or serious partnerships often occur later in life, usually after 30, or require overcoming early challenges.
Mature Partners: You may attract older, grounded, and responsible partners.
Value on Loyalty: With Taurus seeking security and Saturn demanding endurance, you prefer dependable, lasting bonds over casual flings.
Obviously I am not after 30 so it is hard to say if that will be true or not, but I think the history of my relationships do feel pretty true to other parts of me. I've been with people who are my age or older, someone who is pretty grounded is very important to me. I tend to be pretty emotional and need someone to bring me back down to earth, in both good ways and bad. I can be delusional in fun ways or in hopeful ways. I do prefer something that is longer in terms of time; however, I feel as though I need a bit of time to ensure that any person is meant to even be in my life for a season.
I know, back to the point, Jess...
With this additional time of solitude, I am hoping to find some reminders to myself that I am always going to be enough for myself.
If I can't look back, and I can't look forward, I'm forced to live here, right now.
A passage out of the book that I had to stop to think more about. The surrender of life, letting go of control and letting life come to me in the moment will be what ultimately is able to bring me the most joy. Enjoying the company of strangers who ask me about my One Piece Merch, who ask where I am traveling to, or even just a stranger who is kind enough to talk to me about the baseball game at dinner. All I can do is live in the present moment and surrender to what is happening.
May you all be reminded to slow down, live in the now, and not to put too much pressure on yourselves. It is okay to get carried away in the romance of life. Be whimsical, be kind, and remember that every life here on this earth has the same rights. Treat them all this way. We are only here once, for what we know- live each day as though it could be the last day you see- even if it is a day of rest.
Until tomorrow friends.
Day 3- September 22
As I sit at the airport, between my second connection before I head to Australia, I am really thinking about the book that I read. I feel as though there is a new perspective opened to me on things that I did not think about before. Maybe it is the traveling alone that brings new perspective and the excitement of a new country.
It gives me time to reflect on what I have done in my life the past 8 years relating to relationships, how I jumped in before really getting to know the person, or just indulging due to lack—but made a good friend out of it anyway. Sometimes there are glaring issues that are wrong, things that we realize that we just both have changed into different people and that is okay. It did give me some perspective too on the family that I lost with that. There are a couple people who I would love to have shared this trip (including them in who got the link to the blog) but part of me is scared that because the relationship is over that the bridge is burnt and that they wouldn't want to. I know assuming is hurtful and that I am sure they still do care about me. Part of me feels like I cannot reach out, I know the pain he went through and I almost didn't go on this trip because of him. I am glad that I am on this journey and where I am today.
There is still so much love there, the friendship built with that and there was not one moment wasted together. Sometimes there is nothing wrong but it doesn't seem like things are right. Or they could write you a song, and you aren't into that, and the ick slowly starts to build with things that you know that you could not handle if you were with them longer than a day.
I definitely am a jumper. I get excited at the thought of someone coming into my life for a reason and I want that reason to be something so hopelessly romantic I create this version of them in my head of who they could be. That isn't fair for either of us. I definitely worked on that to try and ensure that I can see who they are before committing to anything. It will take me a while to get into something long term again. Enjoy my mindless typing as I process a love story that.
I am also exhausted. It is midnight central and says it is 10 PM here. I have 4 more hours I need to stay up in order to get onto Australia time with minimal jet lag. Especially since I lost a day I will need to really focus on getting into Sydney with the easiest day.
I had to surrender my luggage so some one-piece for 4 hours sounds nice then a long, long, long nap. I have been sleeping for about 10 hours for the past two nights to try and ensure that I could stay up longer tonight. I took some energy gummies used for running.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth in the airport bathroom, that felt...unique. I will update you on my day tomorrow after my 14-hour flight! Enjoy your day, friends, and I cannot wait to share more exciting things than my thoughts on this book. Thank you, Bri, for the book!
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