October 3 & 4
October 3- Last full day in Myrt
Relaxing day in Myrt, taking down decorations, naps, fun games with the groomsmen, and then Ben made a lovely dinner while we watched episodes of Criminal Minds.
The one we watched was about these boys who escaped from trauma. The person the team was tracking was off his medication so that he could find out his history. They were saying how when you’re unsure of what your trauma is, you kind of stay anchored to the location so that you can find answers.
Now that all of that is uploaded and cleared the path for me, I feel as though I’m ready to spread my wings and go somewhere new. I’ve been itching to go anywhere but home. On this trip so far, being able to have a home base with Keira, I will say, was so needed for how long of a trip this is, and I think part of that needs to be acknowledged because I think the part of being a nomad that interests me is not having a home base, right.
I think if you travel in your own vehicle, then you have the ability to have that as your home base where you have the consistency, you have all of your things, you have that home, whereas in the vehicle I’m in, I don’t. I have my suitcase and my backpack, and that’s about it, and I know that that is too hard for me, and I know that not having a pet is too hard for me too.
I think a cat would be easier in a vehicle like that. I don’t think I could ever leave Bo before he passes, so I really feel like I have these wolves (lol) inside me, and one is pulling me to travel and to go see all that this world has to give, and this other one is telling me I have to stay because of my family, because of Bo, because of what my friends are doing in their lives, and I’m not really quite sure what to do with all of that. I know I need to listen to my intuition and focus in on what I can control. What I can control is each day, and that’s really all I can do.
It’s in the present moment, the current actions, understanding of the devil and, well, the two heads on my shoulders, the ego and the intuition, that want different things, but also the fears that come with each of those two heads. Don’t get me wrong. I love my everyday life. I just feel like there’s something missing, and I feel like there’s been something missing for a long time to the point where I’m ready for that gap to be filled, and so I think I need to understand if I’m running away to something or if I’m running away from something
. When I asked my tarot cards in November if I was running to something or running from something, it suggested running to, and I’m not exactly sure what I’m running to. I just know that I’m glad to have met all the people that I meet and spend time with people who are family to me, and at the end of the day, they will be family no matter where I am, but I know I’ll know it when I see it, when I feel it, and that’s what I’m waiting for, for running to or running from. I guess only time will tell.
October 4- Beechworth, Ballrat
This morning I went on a lovely walk with Keira and Winston. She took us on the Mosaic trail, and we got to see some local artwork done by a couple of women in town who do mosaics. Keira and I always have quite a bit to talk about, and with their upcoming trip, it was nice to have a quick walk.
Then I went and did the Reform Hill walk. It was sunrise over the big hill and truly was a beautiful experience. I had a lot to think about on this walk. When a lot of your friends get married, it really reminds you to think about what you want in a partner and kind of out of life in general.
I had a lot of opportunities to connect with people at the wedding and really did meet a lot of lovely people. The thing that I have heard complimented about me the most so far this trip is that I am really easy to talk to. That made me so happy to hear. I know I am a good listener, but being able to hear that people think that about me truly reminds me that people do feel safe in my presence and that me being vulnerable and open to saying how I truly feel can bring someone closer to me.
Keira and I met in Beechworth, a town that looks like time has stood still and really has some beautiful shops. They have a honey shop where you can write love letters to bees as well, which was honestly one of the most beautiful things that I saw. They are so important, and understanding the process behind the bees while enjoying their honey (or all the plants that we can eat because of them) was truly so amazing. Keira had me try meat pies and sausage rolls (I think that is what the sausage was). Then we had to say goodbye. That was truly hard. She is someone who, whenever we say goodbye, it is truly a see you later, but we aren't quite sure when that later is. These past 2 years have been the most we've been able to see each other since 2018. I really do love her, and I miss her, Ben, and the boys already.
I took off on a 4-hour drive by myself and clearly had a lot of time to think. With all of my willpower, I know not traveling and moving will be hard for me. I know I cannot put Bo through that quarantine, but I know that my future is nomadic, and I am so excited for that. I had a lovely shower and dinner once I got to my beautiful stay. The owner named it after their grandmother, Vera.
Then I went to dinner at Auntie Jack's, it was delicious and light. Exactly what I needed after all the lollies I had in the car. I was reading at dinner again, needed some time in public but time to myself. The restaurant played the same song 5+ times in a row, and this man at a table across from me almost lost his mind. It was kind of funny to watch, but I understand that sometimes when you have days where little things like that bother you, the simplest things can really agitate you.
I am off to see some waterfalls tomorrow! I love you all, happy Sunday!
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